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08/13/2005: "in the shark's throat"
mood: cursed

At the lab, working... Things have gone even worse... now this has been the awful fight I've ever had with my brother... I wonder if it's all my fault? 'cause it would be very easy to blame him only, but I really wanna know if it's my fault, 'cause I feel like I should apologize... I've never done it, so it's ackward, but... maybe I should, I dunno know of what though. I guess I am over stressed... truth, is am really tired of everything... of college, of work (look, it's vacation time and I am here) I just wanna be left alone... as far as I can remember I haven't had a nice vacation-time since... primary school? Last year my house was upside down due to the arrival of my new 10 year old brother, it shocked us... he had troubles so in the middle of everything that was already planned we had to set him in home 'cause of a problem he, my father and that woman had... poor kid, he was very confused I know... we hadn't had anytime left, and I was actually trapped at home, and very worried at college 'cause of some misunderstandings with my grades... It was awful... at the end of the year, the situation at home was unbearable... we decided to move away, and I had my first really argue with my father... when new year started... things got even worse *yeah, they could* I remember myself wanting to do so many things on this freetime... but couldn't... I had the worst fight with my father, and we speak to each other no more since then... My lil brother had to suddenly left home abruptly 'cause we couldn't stand the situation with my father anymore... in the middle of this all I was sent to second turn in an assignment so I could lose my scholarship and with that I wouldn't afford to pay my college studies anymore... This semester was horrible due to the 7 assignments we had to take, and I owe still one due to the social problems delaying everything... I am so tired... so damn tired of everything... I only want to be left alone... that's it... It's not my fault that my brother hasn't ended his thesis still, or that he decided to take a year of doing nothing, of going out, while everything was a stressing messy situation at home! If he decided to lost his time like that, and now is trying to force me help him, while I wanna rest and still have a last final exam, I should not be blamed... I am tired of all... I wanna rest... It's easy for others to talk while they still travel from time to time and can get away... I've been here always, I've been left with everything here always, I've been left standing it all always... I've been trapped in this dammed city always... I hate to be here... it's that... I am really hating to stay here, I wanna go away just for a couple of days... I wanna be away of everything.

It's just I hate pasive ppl...
It's just I hate weakness... 'cause I am weak too...




On a side note... I visit the dentist yesterday, so my whole mouth sores... it's not weird that I woke up in a bad mood this morning... well... I gotta leave unless I wanna be locked down here by my chief...

More notes?
- Damn I can't ban IPs with the usually script here ¬_¬...
- I haven't been complete paid still... *should I be happy?*
- I need the money for the domain and to send Chris some cds...
- Oh yesshhhh... Chris-kun was so nice, he sent me V9 DVD! *thank you* I am very sorry but with this all happening around I couldn't see it still, nor I've not written you back, but thanks a lot! you lit up my day for a seconds yesterday!!!... til my brother ruined it and didn't let me see the DVD in peace, so I had to turn it off... Punta Arenas postcard was really nice! Thanks for writing! Your city is beautiful!
- I asked Ryu-chan about ambition time ago... 'cause I really wonder if it's that bad... He said "It's nice to look higher ^^" I'll find that conversation and post it...
- Life can be a doom sometimes...

shirou june @ data

e-mail <agata_june@yahoo.com>
msn <shirou_june@hotmail.com>
location <Bolivia>
age <22>
zodiac <Virgo>
occupation <Vampire, designer, publicist>
band <Siam Shade>
jrocker <Imamura Hideki - x Siam Shade, ACID vo.>
image song <Life - Siam Shade>
character <Yuzuriha Nekoi [X 1999]>
current mood <>
I am I <Female [just in case you haven't figured it out yet]. Web-designer. Wizard. College Student. Publicist. Dreamer. Duelist. Loves anime & manga. Has an obsession with JRock. Specially Siam Shade [the best JRock band her ears have ever listen to]. Speaks spanish, that's why her english [and the other languages she tries to speak] s---!>
behind Siam Shade listens to <JRock {Gackt C. Glay. Takui. Janne da Arc. ACID. L'Arc~en~Ciel. Luna Sea. X-Japan. Lareine. B'z. Yumiko Kozaka}
As much as it seems not all in her life is JRock...
JPop {Maaya Sakamoto. Access. TMR}
KPop {Ahn-Jae Wook. SES. TVQX}>
also hears a few of more 'normal' music
<Juanes. La Oreja de Van Gogh. La Ley>

anime @ manga

anime <Tekkaman Blade>
manga <Elementalors>
fanatism <X 1999>
addiction <Gravitation>
styles <shounen, dark, shounen ai>
seiyuus <Tomokazu Seki, Hikaru Midorikawa and Megumi Hayashibara>
respects <Hayao Miyasaki. Clamp. Shoji Kawamori. Spiral ~suiri no hizuna~. Gravitation's character designer [whoever he/she is] and all the staff involved in the anime series, the manga, the music and everything related to it! [excepting remix]>

web @ sites

<shiroi co> <-legacy> <tek setter>
<siam shade - everlasting> <j·on·air>
<shirou june's online journal>

listings @ cliques

blog @ archives

<Archives>

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blog @ layout

BEAUTIFUL DREAMER <version4.0>
Suu & Kazuhiko [Clover]

related <Words all around related to Clamp's CLOVER manga. Also, title and signature belong to Glay - BEAUTIFUL DREAMER amazing song. Then... "tashika ni ima hi ga tomoru... tashika ni ima!" means "just now a light was lit... just now~" that belongs to the BEAUTIFUL DREAMER lyrics.
Who's the Beautiful Dreamer? err... Suu might be [stop looking at me! -_-] I only thought that the title suited perfect the design, besides I love this song! As I always say: 'Great Glay', they always came up with melodies that light up your day! [no matter you can't understand the lyrics *cof*] The song is a must hear, accompanied with great violonchelos and violins. Music & Lyrics by Takuro. I better stop before this starts looking like a review.
Even I found the english translation to the lyrics I can hardly understand the meaning of the song itself... as you read it this is the story of a person enjoying every day and after that... your are suddenly told another story that doesn't seem to fit in the lyrics, this is the story behind him, the past that is present in every day and forever will be here. His decision was to forget about it all and choosed to live the day, that's leaving all behind, living present, because Memories can't come back, so don't be tricked by the dreams and live, ~it's all to become beautiful~
it says... Just gorgeous, a complete story told in few sentences... [mmhhh... doesn't it sound like Rurouni Kenshin? XD] Anyway, that's the conclusion I reached about, after reading and hearing to it 100 times... Confusing... don't understand it at all... well, yes... anyhow I love it. Now is a complete review v.vU
Yeah... I know... I know... too much green due to 200clover... Hey, look! I made Suu smile ^^ Just basic editing skills to not see her sad as in the original image... the wing little effect is really cool also, I always like to try new things>

final @ note

This log runs trough a wonderful CGI engine:
<Greymatter>. That makes all my site coustomizable ^_^ and leaves all the power at my hands! The whole site is gently hosted at
<Netfirms Free Web Hosting> who allows CGI. Thanks very much. The image is a scan of my Xmas present "Clover #2" (c) CLAMP. Image Editing & Page Design belong to <Shirou June>. No profit is being made out of this site.